How To Accept The Unexpected And Still Stay Focused in 2019

I haven’t written a bullet point type post for a while and I kind of missed it.
The meaning. Without sounding corny… because it will no matter what. Or maybe not, let’s see.
We need something to give our life meaning. But when the Law of Attraction, a religious belief or all the Ted Talks are not enough? I do not want to make this a debate around beliefs as it is about preference here, you do you, but what about those times when you need that extra push? We look “beyond” or… we look for a quicker fix. So we cling onto projects, deadlines or even people.
“If only that semester or week was done, then it will all be okay.”
“If only our relationship had that bump on the road situation sorted out, then it will all be okay.”
But by the time it’s supposedly okay, all circumstances – or at least all of the crucial ones – will have changed and there will be a hundred more things towards that conditional utopia called “now it’s okay, now we’re good.”

Finding balance between having your eyes on your goals and your feet on the ground, being motivated by your dreams and at the same time glad by where you are at the moment is everything.
Because happiness is a state of mind and a choice, rather than an conditional offer “provided that you have completed a certain list of tasks”. Whether it’s about career or personal life, here are the mantras I’ve been and am taking with myself this year.

  1. What can I learn from this? Whatever crazy unexpected turn of events is going on – I believe that when you listen to what life is trying to tell you – may it be the Universe, God, Coincidence – doesn’t matter, but life happens to all of us – so listen up.
  2. Sometimes the hard work doesn’t pay off – right away. Life is unfair, it happens, get over it. Keep moving, keep going, it’s so stupid to waste your potential because of setbacks, so give yourself a minute and a pep-talk or a kick or both – reassess whether perhaps you need to change your techniques and go.
  3. The small steps add up. Is what you are doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? Because tomorrow is just a concept. So there’s only a small step available at this minute? Okay, take that small step then, but take them, because they add up. Keep on working towards being the best version of yourself.
  4. Focus on you, but stop taking it personally – stop the gossip. I used to make a big deal for myself out of convincing people – it was like a constant potential makeover film in my head, don’t ask why. Another realisation was that how we react to something might be more connected to our mood rather than what is actually happening or what the other person is saying or doing. It sounds so obvious, but when I really thought about it, it was… kind of mind-blowing. We all come from different backgrounds and different experiences which all have shaped us with different and unexpected quirks, and I firmly believe that most conflicts arise from miscommunication anyway.
  5. Accept not knowing it all. Every time when I’ve felt like “I finally have it together” or that “things are finally coming together” – life just happened and an unexpected turn of events made me rethink and change everything. Okay, maybe not that literally, but while I have fixed goals I work towards on a regular basis, I am okay with that x factor in life – that there will always be something you will not have figured out and by the time you will, there will be the next factor to figure out, and so on and so on. Accept the unexpected, no need to expect it and no need to fear it, but if you do, it’s okay – accept the fear as well. Once you know you can learn something from a difficult experience that will make you richer – because those boundary-pushing times can reveal strengths or actions we never thought we could be capable of – life… becomes an amazing adventure.

Sometimes life can be… simply overwhelming. Even when looking for professional advice, it is very important to find someone you feel that you can connect with. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform where you are matched to a certified therapist who is right for you – just click on the BetterHelp link to know more.


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